Stuck In A Rut
Have you ever felt stuck in a rut? If you’ve had that feeling when your life has become boring, stale, and monotonous, you’re stuck in a rut. This happens when we do the same thing over and over again, which some may call a habit. In fact, the definition of a habit is an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary. Habits become lifestyle. Have you ever heard of the 21/90 rule as it relates to our habits? The 21/90 rule states that it takes 21 days to form a habit and 90 days to make it a permanent lifestyle change. This is a true for good habits and bad habits! Most people want to develop good habits. Habits like getting enough sleep, getting up to get to work on time, exercising and eating healthy. In March our country was locked down due to Covid-19 and life changed. There were feeling of depression, anxiety, and fear. Many of our good habits were thrown out the window and replaced by not so good habits. Some people have become stuck in a rut and are having difficulty getting back to their good habits. Can you relate? What Is Essential? May I press in a little here? Did you go to the grocery story this week? Did you go to a Big Box store (Walmart/Target/Home Depot/Menards) this week? If you answered yes to the questions above, may I ask one more? Did you connect at church this week, online or in person? Are you going to connect in a Lifegroup this fall, online or in person? Those are habits – good habits. Being with other people, safely of course, is good for your mental health. God wants you to be with people. Connecting in a Lifegroup provides the opportunity for you to connect with Godly people, which will encourage and support you. This is critical especially in challenging times. Your relationship with God IS “ESSENTIAL” You need to make sure you are in the habit of giving priority to your relationship with God. Much the same way you are in the habit of making sure you have the food and supplies you need for each week. We are honored to provide online and in person opportunities for you to connect and give that priority to God. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25) Please make your habits of connecting with other believers a lifestyle for the next 21/90 days. You won’t regret making this decision to go from habit to lifestyle.
Time Well Spent
Half Empty Or Half Full COVID-19 has certainly changed our lives. We have been on a Shelter-in-Place order for 3 weeks. How are you doing with that? I have talked to people who are thoroughly enjoying the slower pace, time with their families, and others who are ready to tear their hair out. I’ve spoken with those that feel very connected in groups and some that feel lost, unsure and without an outlet for these thoughts and feelings. Whichever side of the spectrum you are on (or anywhere in between) I want you to know that it is okay! We are all different spirits who are beautifully and uniquely made. We are going to handle this incredible disruption different. Opportunities In View I am a unique personality blend. I am a hopeful realist and hold out hope for the best-case scenario and prepare for the worst. It’s my belief that we have an opportunity here to look at some things in our lives that need to be addressed. Our normal routines and time schedules have been disrupted. What a fantastic opportunity! Do you know how long it takes to break bad habits or to build new habits? Many studies say 21 days. That is about where we are in this Shelter-in-Place Order. It has been extended to the end of the month. That is 21 days too! What if we take the next 21 days and break any bad habits we have and institute new ones? According to capespace.com, “One popular method to build habits is called the 21/90 rule. The rule is simple enough. Commit to a personal or professional goal for 21 straight days. After three weeks, the pursuit of that goal should have become a habit. Once you’ve established that habit, you continue to do it for another ninety days.” I love being productive and active in times of uncertainty. We are all in this together, so let’s grow and develop through these circumstances together. Believe me, I am taking this situation seriously. I’m praying in agreement with my friends and church for God to heal the land of COVID-19. I don’t want people to suffer with this illness or lives to be lost. I’m grieving with those who are losing hours, and jobs and with the mothers and fathers who are trying to work from home while trying to be teachers for their children and keep them lovingly entertained. My heart goes out to the lonely and isolated. I don’t want anyone to be alone. God’s Will Be Done I am also praying for God’s will to be done above my will. It is often in times of darkness, despair and confusion that people to cry out to the Creator of the Universe for answers. I want people who don’t have a relationship with Jesus to seek Him for the answers they are looking for. What if it is only being at the end of our ourselves that we will reach out to God? I also want those of us who know Jesus, but may take time with Him or each other for granted, to find a new found gratitude and renewed relationship with the Author of our Faith. This song has been my anthem during this, “Let it Rain” by Crowder and Mandisa. The lyrics are, “So let it rain, let it pour, Lord I need you more and more. Let it rain, rain down on me. Every day, whatever You want, not my will but yours, Lord. Let it rain, rain down on me.” I trust you God.
Get Up And Do Life
I knew I needed to get up because there were a ton of things to do. Tasks to accomplish, dishes to clean, floors to sweep, laundry to do, lunch with a friend…but I could not get off the sofa. I can’t explain why, I just could not do it. For hours. Days. Lunch was canceled, laundry was not done, dinner not started. For days. Weeks. The Solutions Seems Simple For many of you reading this, the solution seems simple: just get up and do it. It’s a nebulous thing, depression, it’s a weight that makes getting up impossible. Depression is a wall between you and the rest of the world. It’s a haze that makes what you know needs to get done seem impossible. It’s a voice that whispers to you how awful you are because you KNOW it’s all possible, and still you cannot manage. You cannot explain something like this. How do you lift yourself up when that whisper keeps pushing you down? How can you be honest with your loved ones when you fear that it’s you that’s damaged, no good, a problem, lazy, mean, or any other number of things? Some days and months were better than others. Many who know me would be shocked to know the reality that was my life. The struggle to get up every day. The overwhelming desire to sleep. The need to push everyone away. To isolate. To disappear. It was not then and is not now my fault. Depression can run in families, it can occur without any hereditary cause. It can be brought on by traumatic circumstances or come with the birth of a baby. It can be made better with medication or become worse with the wrong medication. Depression is bewildering, lonely, and is hard for those who love us. It is hard to live with. How Can You Help Someone Get Up? Depression can be overcome. It can be lived with. It can be better. You can help and be part of the solution for someone. You can be a support and a light. We are the hands and feet of God; we are His people and we are filled with His Spirit. God made clear that we are to be a community of believers. He made it clear that none should stand alone, for this world is fraught with hardships. God wants you to get up and help others to do the same. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) How can we be that cord of three? Mostly, it’s a willingness to be awkward and real. Truth is powerful and wonderful when used to help others. Listen I will always remember when a friend sat me down and asked me seriously “How are you?” and then followed it up with “I really want to know because I think you are not happy.” She invited me to tell her the truth of how I was. Safely, and in a quiet and private atmosphere. I was free to answer and blubber as much as I needed (which was quite a lot as it turned out). Then she asked if my husband knew how much I was struggling, how she could help me, what did I need. And, feeling safe, I answered her. I told her that I wouldn’t do anything to help myself, that I couldn’t, that I was utterly stuck. That I needed help but had no way to reach for it. That no one really knew how I was struggling at that moment, certainly not my husband, since I was trying desperately to hide it from him. This friend listened to it all. She heard. And she told me she would follow up with me to see if I got help. And she did. That she wanted my permission to call my husband and tell him that I needed help. And she did. Care Do you know someone who struggles with depression? Can you find a time and place to honestly and openly talk to them? To let them know that you are willing to help, to listen, to care? For you will likely have to go to them, they will not come to you. You might have to start the conversation, I know I would never have done so. Ask them how you can tell when they are really struggling, how they want you to react when you see the signs, who they need you to tell if you are really hurting. And let them know you are praying for them. It will mean the world to them, it did for me. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Read more about being stuck in a rut.